Journal

Running the Gauntlet

June 11, 2024 /

This post does not go much deeper than ‘I tried several spicy sauces for the novelty’.

After watching multiple episodes of the Youtube show, and knowing I would quickly consume any hot sauce in the kitchen, I decided to order the latest collection and test them out for myself. Results shared below.

The Context

I regularly consume very spicy food.

  • Jalapenos, red chilis, and various store-bought hot peppers and sauces (including the stronger ones sourced from Asian markets) are a staple of my diet.
  • I like spicy Asian cuisine – I have consumed the hottest achars, numbing spices, and hotpot mixes without too much issue. The phlegm may get going but I enjoy eating the dishes.
  • For those who are familiar with Noodlebox – I like ordering a 4 or 5 on their spice menu. The 6 is usually too much for me to really enjoy the flavors. A bit of googling tells me their 6 is around 1,000,000 on the Scoville scale, which itself is a flawed metric.

I do not know how accurate all the spiciness measures are; no better way to confirm the heat than by trying it for myself!

The Lifelines

I should also say, despite my comfort with spice, I fully expected to have difficulty with the hotter sauces on this list. I prepared some homemade antidotes in case they really hit me:

I do not have any dairy at home, which is apparently the recommended route. So I looked up some other tested concoctions that would likely work:

  • Diet coke with some lemon juice mixed in
  • A glass of sugar water

I also kept some dairy-free ice cream at hand. Sugary and cool.

The Method

No chicken wings here. I cooked up some fries in the air fryer and slathered them with as much hot sauce as would stick. The brush was rinsed between applications to avoid mixing flavors. All the fries were ‘marinated’ first so that I could taste them about a minute apart in the spirit of the show. I was liberal in the application to invite as much spice/flavor as I could. For the last 5 sauces, I used a few fries instead of one to get the full effect.

The Results

Here is the summary. I have included my totally subjective impression of sauce taste/flavor, spice level experienced, and ‘impact’ score (a combination of the burn and how long it lasts, felt across the tongue, throat, nose, etc. plus the kick of the initial sampling).

The sauces are ordered from 1 to 10, indicating Heatonist’s increasing spice rating. I have also included the Scoville heat units (SHU) associated with the sauces as noted by the packaging.

1. Hot Ones | The Classic: Garlic Fresno

  • SHU – 1,700
  • Taste/flavor – 6/10
  • Spice – 1/10
  • Impact – 1/10

2. Double Comfort Foods | Seeing Double

  • SHU – 6,200
  • Taste/flavor – 6/10
  • Spice – 1/10
  • Impact – 1/10

3. Mark’s | Fermented Kimchi

  • SHU – 18,000
  • Taste/flavor – 7/10
  • Spice – 1/10
  • Impact – 1/10

4. Hot Ones | Los Calientes Barbacoa

  • SHU – 33,000
  • Taste/flavor – 8/10
  • Spice – 3/10
  • Impact – 3/10

This is when the spice began to ramp up.

5. Fat Cat Gourmet | Chairman Meow’s Revenge

  • SHU – 54,000
  • Taste/flavor – 7/10
  • Spice – 4/10
  • Impact 3/10

6. Onima | Il Mig

  • SHU – 71,000
  • Taste/flavor – 8/10
  • Spice – 6/10
  • Impact 5/10

First time that I actually felt the spice build over 10-15 seconds.

7. Black Eyed Susan | Red Flag

  • SHU – 126,000
  • Taste/flavor – 9/10
  • Spice – 6/10
  • Impact – 5/10

Also builds. Probably my favorite flavor among the lot.

8. Da Bomb | Evolution

  • SHU – 135,600
  • Taste/flavor – 4/10
  • Spice – 8/10
  • Impact – 7/10

Taste is noticeably not great. First sauce in the lineup that spreads the burn inside the mouth quickly. Was also the first one that got my nose running. It stayed on my tongue for several minutes and compounded with the last two sauces.

9. High River | Peppers Up!

  • SHU – 700,000
  • Taste/flavor – 7/10
  • Spice – 7/10
  • Impact – 5/10

A little dip from Da Bomb but still pretty spicy.

10. Hot Ones | The Last Dab Xperience

  • SHU – 2,693,000
  • Taste/flavor – 8/10
  • Spice – 9/10
  • Impact – 8/10

Took a long time to ebb. This and Da Bomb are really a step above the rest and the only ones that left a burning sensation for a while.

Overall Verdict

Plenty of spice but not unmanageable! I did not need to take the antidotes throughout and quite enjoyed the taste plus lingering sting.

I am a little disappointed that the sauces did not hit harder, but I still found the last few particularly hot. That said, it is good to know I can make use of all of them in my cooking and give it a bigger kick than the store-bought spices. The resonating uptick in heat and variety of flavors is a definite plus.

Now to look forward to an opportunity to try a Carolina Reaper or Pepper X pepper in the future…